Uhhh F&$*#@ this!!

i just block tacicia.. i don't know who that person is and why she following me =:O(

now, i need to stop spending. i really do. i lost my mind and bought 3 perfumes, 6 maxi dresses online, juice beauty serum and apple green peel and assortments of cookies for the coming celebration end of august. yes, i'm spending money like nobody business.

just when i thought i could breathe and treat myself to luxury, media have been delivering the depressing news on world economy. sigh, can't a girl get a break here!!!!

i been thinking of giving up on finding love online........ yes i said love.. not husband. i'm tired and i'm done and i'm losing all hopes. i will die a lonely woman with no cat to alert the neighbour. i can't find anyone that gives my heart a lil jump start, well except for mr puckerlicious and blueluvray69.

men.....uhh.. what's that? my memory about to erase them...slowwwleeeee....

On Stalker Mode...

do you remember me mentioning i have a crush on a certain member, where i began to have the sign of a stalker? yeah that dude whose smile makes me going back to his profile for like numerous time that i'm sure by the time IF HE DECIDES to log in he gonna block me for real. well... i decide to gives up on him. its not healthy for me...lol.

nahhhhhhhh....

i found me a new chap to stalk. yeah i'm a sucker for a guy with contagious smile and lawddd trust me this one has smile that will melt the ice and soup cooler to warm you up.. hee hee. so.. my stalking tendency goes over drive and i decide to drop him an email complimenting his pic (i'm praying hard it's the real deal, i mean his pic that is). nothing too off the wall, just a generic hello nice smile have a great day kinda brief email. not even a hope to hear from you. i figures, if he going to reply great.. if not.. oh well, i was sincere with my compliment.

well oh well.. guess what.. yeah i'm cheezin right now cuz dude replied and ask how i'm doing and said, he doesn't want me to think i was being ignored....... SUUUUWEEEEETTTTT!!

ok ok, i know.. he probably just being polite and such, but hey... its all good on my end. yeah i reply back.. thought i wanna play it cool.. you know like wait till thursday to reply him. you know act all nonchalant like i have too many things to do but check emails. but shit, i could drop dead tomorrow and he thought I WAS IGNORING HIM. so.. i wrote back.

now its the waiting time...

Sigh..

i found some folks at FB are rude. yeah plain rude.

why is it so difficult for folks to leave you a message as part of an intro of who you are.. you understand me?

here an example:

hi gigi, its me lala. we were in high school together and i just found you on FB. hope we can get reconnected again.

NOW HOW HARD IS THAT?!!!!

but noooooooooo, they just add you and expect you to remember who the hell there are. and when i do leave them a message for clarification...ohhhh guess what.....NO REPLY.

what ever happen to simple basic manners??? have we gone so techie everything within the fingertips that manners just went out the fucking window.

and oh yeahhh... IT DON'T TAKE YOU 3 DAYS, a week, break your precious fingernails or NEVER to reply a message left in your inbox (same goes for text messages).

and oh yeahh... if you going to add someone, but never bothers to say hello during the long duration of your stay, WHY THE FUCK BOTHERS??!! yes i understand some of them have 4,000 friends listed (yes numbers exaggerated so its hard to keep tract). so yeah.. i'm gonna do house cleaning. i may left with 2 friends on my list, less nosey folks.

now.. am i asking too much here folks?

jeezzzzz...

Uhh... hmmm..

last night, i met up with an old friend for movie and dinner. she consumed with work and family life that meeting up with her is scarce, when the opportunity comes around i go for it. not seeing her for the past 6 months, i have to say i'm quite surprised by some of the changes in her.

she seems more bold, has no problem saying NO, unlike before. no more *let me think about it*. i like the new her. but this new her also learn how to cuss uhh more openly, unlike before she can't even say fuck. she said its due to the new job and responsibility. hmm..ok, whatever rocks her boat and makes her day...lol.

while catching up, i told her i know she has a fb account but i want to know why she won't add me. she claimed she don't add no one she knows and that include family and friends. its her alter ego fb. i asked her to explain the need for an alter ego. she said, her alter ego, she married to her online gamer hubby, who she has mentioned to me before. she said, he's good to her. been there for her all these months. no sugar coating from him. she likes the idea of not having to deal with men offline, her *marriage* life online is all that she needs.

to be honest, i'm still bit confuse by the need of an alter ego (hope i spell that right). why do folks feel the need to be or act as someone else. do they feel the need to pretend or hide something. as a friend i try to understand and support her in whatever her choice be...however, something just kept nagging at me i can't let it loose... sigh.

i wonder if i feel any different if i do have an alter ego...maybe i be more uhhh loose, well mentally perhaps...lol.

hello.. hellooo

am i the only person, who finds it absolutely rude when you leave someone text messages or drop them an email, private message and there will be no response in return?

i'm not asking too much am i? if you busy, just replied.. hey sorry kinda busy i get back to you soon. and i'm good. i won't be sitting around wondering if they received it. and if they did not, perhaps something happen to them. than you end up sending another message asking if they received the first one in the first place. argghhhh...

but you know what i hate most. is when you send them message and they replied 2 weeks later and you wondering like.. ok what the heck he/she replying too cuz by than you have already dismiss it.

arghhh...i swear some folks have no basic manners.

It's Hard Being A....

am i the only one feels its hard being a woman? i mean seriously.. everyday i'm being bombarded with media madness, from magazines, tv, radio, internet, women on the street...

the quest to be FAIR SKIN to a point of looking like a ghost. shit even a corpse has more color. the fairer you're the more beautiful you supposed to be. there are so many whitening product out there that you can loss your senses. every time i step into a pharmacy, i will be approached by high strung promoters, when all i needed to buy was box of tampon. shit we all can't be white and on that note, i have no desire to be looking like the underside of a fish. yeah kiss my all time tan ass.

oh i was at the pharmacy today and one of them actually told me i should buy a particular lotion that will *brightened* my nipples (yes, she was whispering to me and i'm sure she meant aureole) to pink. i'm like uhh why do i need that for.. and ever so confident, she said.. cuz it looks pretty. i asked her, how do you know if i don't have pink nipples, have you seen it? with that i walk away...

the quest to be SKINNY. everyday when i open up the paper i see weight loss promotions. 10 session for $388.. hmmm very tempting but you know once you step into that hell saloon, you end up paying 1grand more and none the skinnier. i was at the traffic light waiting for it to turn green when a fitness promoter approached me and pass me a pamphlet. if looks can kill she be dead on the spot. shit, i marched my 85kg ass to burger king and have me a king's meal.

just the other day, my colleague told me she bought one of those magic lotion where you simply applied to the problem area consistently and by miracle you will loose couple of inch by end month (i'm sure the direction include not eating.. grrr). now she only 24 yrs old, weight about 50kg, when i asked her why she bought it, she simply point to her tummy (which was non existent from where i'm standing) and said.. I have fats. i have to walk away for fear of strangling her fragile neck.

it doesn't help at work i'm seated with clustered of women who whines about weight on a daily routine when the only fat is probably in their head. i imagine tying them up to a pole and feeding till they put on an extra 30kg and i let them loose... sigh.

i'm at an age where losing weight is not easy (and yes, i know exercise helps, trust me.. i'm getting there.. slowly). but i never considered myself to be fat, but when i'm being surrounded by these women, i can't help but resents them. i can't escape they EVERYWHERE!!!

gawddd i'm thinking of donuts with mint latte right now... (yeah i'm piss today).

things..

well well lots of things have taken place for the past couple of weeks.

1. mending a broken heart (still going through the process)
2. first experience rowing in a dragon boat race
3. had a *situation* with mom (she still not talking to me) and
4. typing all this on my new 17" inch acer laptop which came as a xmas present from the very man that broke my heart...

i have to admit i really enjoyed the dragon boat race. adrenalin running through me. water splashing while rowing, shouting in unison to get the high of winning the race (even though we didn't win). for a first timer i did not do bad (yes giving myself credit), even though i can't swim and all the while i was in that slim boat with 16 others, i kept praying the boat don't capsized.

at the end of the day i was glad i participated, had lots of fun, body aching, soaking wet but i was smiling.

and that what matters to me most =:0)

movie eye candies

hmmm... i finally went to watch TAKERS. story line remind me of ocean 11, i don't quite like the ending where chris and michael went out gun blazing and died, but i still enjoy the movie.

paul walker - yummie

christen haydensen - too skinny for my eye but even in death he looks pretty....sigh.

michael ealy - sigh.. those eyes

chris brown - not bad acting

t.i - that accent.. lol.. cute

idris elba - licking lips & impure thoughts throughout the movie..and that english accent.. i'm sold!! lol

A Song To Match Your Mood

ok yes.. i uhh not following the rule of *October Challenge* since i randomly chose which challenge to do... i'm going to call it.. Me Challenge.

today when i listen to Nina Simone *I Put A Spell On You*, i starts to visualize...

my hair wrap up in a turban (aka erykah badu) chillaxin in bathrobe and slippers, a ciggy hang from the corner of my lips, coffee turns cold leaving mark on the table. dirty dishes done stacking up cuz i'm not in the mood to do any cleaning cuz my man done gone mess up in the head again. i'm sitting leg cross, hissy mode starring at this wanka and said.. YEAH U HUR MEH DADDY!! U AIN'T GOING NO WURR!! throw the coffee on his face, stood up, spit the ciggy and walk away, humming......... hee hee.

ps: when visualizing did not realize the 1st pic of nina was in turban wid ciggy...

hello stranger..

i realize i have been really uhhh lazy with my blog. one of my all time favourite excuse for such is... MY LAPTOP IS DOWN AND I CAN'T BLOG... fo shor!!

i tried to blog at work, since my desk is only 1 table away from my director, i have to be uhhh.. sneaky. it doesn't help that my current computer screen is 23 inch, felt like every tom, may lee and junie can sneak a peak... dam nosey poker.

i was lurking on blogworld, yes even when i don't post, i snoop around to see whats up with folks... yes i'm a nosey poker, when i come across one of my fav stopever here. i like the list challenge, even if i'm two weeks late in the process but i figure out why not? i think i can do this.. at least i'm going to try. not sure about posting pics though cuz i always end up looking either i'm gonna beat someone up or in total pain kinda look. as to when i'm getting around to doing the list...uhh... when i can sneak a moment...

until than, yall have a great week =:O)

Can Of Whop Azz...

ok so i'm a little late in blogging about the graffiti offender (been busy with work). well, here's my thought on it....

he's getting his ass whop. i'm saying he deserves it. every swing of that cane. when a 32 yr ol man with a good job as IT consultant starts acting a fool and decides to break into govt property and leave his art for the public to enjoy... well...

you get what's coming for ya...

he thought he can get away with it. hhhmmm.. imagine the shock on his face when the poo poo comes knocking on his door. too bad his accomplice escaped... for now.. you know his ass is in hiding...

it seems he pleading for his case. claim he was under the influence of alcohol. well, i hope the ruling remained unchanged, we need to remind them, their reckless actions comes with consequences. obviously, they forgotten the american boy who got his ass caned.. otherwise i'm sure they be having second thought about doing the deed.

maybe the swiss never heard of the phrase *when in rome, do what the romans do*. obviously, some of these *incoming* expat has no respect for the local rules. may this be a reminder to the rest of the folks who thinks they can get away and walk around with a smug smile on their face.

look whose crying now...

it's only wednesday..

hhmmm.. work done, one more hour to go. earpiece on listening to katt william pimpin, laughing to myself, colleagues wondering what's so funny.

i'm dreaming of another beach vacation. yeah we have beaches where i'm at, but i'm not about to spend my time chillin by the beach starring ahead at ships anchored within my view.... no sir.

my male cousin who is of the same age as me, found out he has 3 clog arteries..........yeappppp. physically he's not fat.. not to me, cuz he just as tall as i am. but we found out he a social smoker and i guess all that rich food is ganging up on him. doctor told him he need a bypass. aunt panicky and telling him not too and find an alternative. i'm not sure what's the alternative is.. maybe daily meds, exercise.. i don't know.

he was discharged without the bypass. said he going to think about it. i don't know if its the right decision but i'm not in the position to question it.

now mom on my case. telling me to eat more *healthy*... fruits, vegetable, blah blah. shot, i don't have problem with my fruits and veg, i love them. my only problem right now is cutting down on my dam potato chips addiction.

i have 1 and half pack of chips hidden in my cupboard. yes i know i need to get rid of it, but that's my comfort food. yes its a lame excuse.

i saw my current pic..... lawd.. i have chubby cheeks....lmao. but wait a sec, pictures always make you look overweight.... don't they? yes i admit i could loose couple of kg/pound. my heart is willing, my body is stalling.

i'm trying to reprogram my mentality..... i been down this road. i get all excited and start working out.... 1 week later, i be laying on my bed with a book and my step master back in the corner collecting dust.

=:O(

Vakhashun Ohhvahh =:O(

ok i'm back from vacation and been back to work.. argghhhh.

as usual i can't blog about the trip from home as my ol faithful computer is not very cooperative lately and it's truly testing my patience, counting to 20 (that's all the patience i have) is not helpful.

all i can say for now is.. i'm tan... dammmmm i'm tan (well more like burn). yes, i have the sun block with me plus collagen, but too damn excited to put it on once i see water, sand and sun. i swear i'm worst than a kid at the beach.

i can't load any pictures either as my card reader is not able to read the thumb drive.

so.. everything will be posted and full detail will be up, once i get everything work out (hopefully).

all i can say.... damit i should have stayed just one more day for myself...

vacation.. staycation..

i'm starting my vacation with staycation. been staying at home for the past 2 days and running errands before sunday. mom been busy packing her suitcase as if she going away for 3 weeks instead of 3 days.... sigh. now i have to find my own case to pack, since that small suitcase of her is pack to the max.

i made a mistake in planning my vacation. i should have booked an extra day just for myself but i was stressing out with work, time and mom, my plan get all muddled up. now mom felt we should absorb aunt's airfare, since according to her she tight on the wallet. sigh.. there goes my budget. well no point throwing a hissy fits about it now. hopefully i can go for another short getaway soon after.

i be turning a year older. am i supposed to feel any different?

Erk..

its april. i have not done any posting since my last entry in feb.

i have nothing much to say.

my life is quiet and boring.

wake up, work, home, sleep. mulitiply that by 5 days.

on weekend. i'm a zombie. i'm too tired to do anything but laze and read a fiction.

cuz its more fun to read since i don't have a life.

lol.

but lately, i been thinking of something that i should not even entertain.

you know the phrase.. its so wrong but it felt right. (ok that don't sound right). every core of me says DO IT!! DO IT!! but it soooooooooo wronggggggggggggg....

i need to do lots of serious thinking about this particular issues. cuz i don't want any regrets.

sigh..

Bet The Neighbour...

don't ask me why i'm humming to Trey Songz - Bet The Neighbours Know My Name..

hmmm... but dayummm that tremaine is a cutie...

sigh..

mmm.. n oh yeah..

MERRY XMAS TO EVERYONE CELEBRATING!!



ps: usher music getting whack. r kelly bores the hell out of me with whatever he been releasing lately.

online connection...

maybe its good that i don't feel the need to sign on to friendster, hifi, myspace, facebook and what have you. my colleagues kept asking me if i have facebook. i'm like.. duh i see you at work i don't have the desire to see you online. i have this and my photo blog and even that i can't make a daily rituals.

maybe i don't feel the need to always be connected to folks i don't know. or folks that i have no desire to connect with from my past or present. i also don't like the idea that your current or future employee can google you online. nah uhhh.. nooo....

and i don't understand the desire for folks to tweet. do i really need to know if you're sitting on your potty doing the number 2?!! hayleeeeee naww...

and lately i notice you can update your status in hotmail, and folks actually bothers to do just that. i read an article those who updated their status every so often is an attention seekers... sigh....

guess that's not going to happen to me..

the days...

we were invited to celebrate my aunt's birthday on sunday. it was good to be with my extended family. i never know what it felt like to have siblings and this is the only time, i get to share in the *big* family gathering. we had seafood for dinner and as usual, it was good food and company.

on monday, i took mom and my aunt across the border for a massage. my massage was supposed to last for an hour and half but i was disappointed with the masseuse for i felt she did not do a good job.... but i don't have the heart to say anything negative to her boss, as we all human trying to earn a living. at least, mom and aunt enjoyed theirs.. so its all good.

we went to the local mall for lunch only once again to be disappointed by the food. i end up not eating and it did not make matters any better as mom was making me irritated and it was beginning to piss me off. by the end of the trip i was hungry and upset.

so sunday was great, monday sucks.

tuesday, i spend the afternoon at the library. while i was trying to decide which book to pick suddenly there was a commotion at the table section as 2 old chinese men squabbling over the newspaper, the librarian had to calm them down. earlier, i was accosted by a filipino young man trying to get donation for some kid's organization. now, i know there should not be any form of *hussling* ( i can't find the right word for now), i reported to the librarian on duty. she acknowledge it but don't seem to be taking any action about it. hmmm. At the local mall, i came across an insane man, shouting and waving his hand at no one in particular, while holding on to a crash drink can. sigh... had to say it was a colourful outing...lol.

came back home and cleaned up part of my wardrobe by giving away my all too tight jeans to be recycled. i still keep couple of the ...uhh... 1 size smaller than my current.. maybe i was hoping to be able to fit into them again... ohh if only that works as a motivation.... bah-hum-bug.

wednesday... sigh... i need to clean up the house so the painter can start painting the whole apartment come thursday. sigh, i'm so not looking forward to the mess.

btw, my bedroom going to be dark red... uhh.. yeah... i'm trying something new...

i wanna fly awayyyyyyy

i'm trying to plan a trip with mom. my leave is already confirmed. but i have no where to go sigh....

it's going to be a surprise trip for her. i also ask my cousin to come along. there's going to be 4 of us. we planning to go from 16 - 19 may (cuz thats the only date she can go).

i'm planning to go penang with free and easy package. i pretty much got the hotel source out, but not sure if my cousin agrees to the pricing. so i'm keeping that on the radar. the budget flight is not available. and the rest is too expensive. and no i don't feel like travelling in bus for the next 10hrs and leave butt print on my seat. i'm stressing out. my cousin expect me to do all the work in sourcing out the details, which sucks (yes even though i invited her to come along, but work with me mayneeeeeeee....).

she suggested we go to a resort island, which is fine by me but i don't think it would be fun for both mom and aunt. reason i wanted to go penang, it gives us both, beach and places of interest to see. i hope we come up with a plan. i need to get away real bad.

ahhhhhh neeeddddddd to goooooo awaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....

do you need 39 friends?

i was reading a local magazine which according to the article if you have 10 friends or more, you be the HAPPIEST person. in the long run, women supposed to have 39 friends, while men need 49.

now, i'm thinking and counting and realize i have less than both my 10 fingers combined. so, does that makes me a miserable hag? do having more friends makes you popular and happy? well i guess it does to some. to be always in demand for events, parties, get together must be nice. but than again, how many of these folks can you truly called A FRIEND? you know what.. this is my take in having so many friends...

the more friends you have, the more bitching and back stabbing there going to be. the more pretentious, oh lets kiss air when we meet. when they want to finds out whats going on in your life its not because they truly interested or sincerely cares for, but more interested to find the dirt to bitch about it to someone else within the same circle. there's too much drama but than again some folks can't live without being the drama queen. okay okay so maybe this just base on my personal experience... hee hee.

now having said all that, no at this point and age in my life, having less friends don't makes me a miserable person. it means less complication, less misunderstanding and more quality friendship, even if it means i only have 1 friend. it don't takes a lot to makes me happy, i can write list of things that makes me happy but that's really not the point of it.

i guess what i'm saying in my own words and thought is.... i can easily be happy and easily be upset, its a balance of both things. no one is happy 24/7 unless you been sniffing on coke and seeing purple haze all day .. uhh... yeah.. u be freaking happy. so no i don't need to be surrounded by 39 friends to make my existence happy... cuz at the end of the day... its up to me to makes me happy =:O)


(while writing this post, i'm just contented. but than i remembers the box of chocolate from hawaii cooling it my fridge.. i have a dam big grin on my face.. so yeah.. i'm happy).