i have the sudden anger in me. i felt betrayed by someone i have given my trust and friendship. someone who i at one point i consider part of my family. i can't even type her name out for fear that i start cussing it out.
don't ask me why today of all day this anger starts mounting up. maybe because its her birthday and yet i texted her and wish happy birthday and many more to come. but no reply came from her. maybe she just dismiss it. maybe she changed her number. maybe because of that, the anger that i have so long push aside, rise in me like the waves of the ocean. maybe because she lied to me. maybe because i felt she stole from me. maybe because she have not been honest with me. but whatever it is, it seems clear now that she trying to avoid me and pretend whatever has taken place, never taken place before. i'm upset and angry. i'm upset to a point i start tearing up writing this. i don't want to waste this tears on someone like her, but yet, i can't stop it from streaming down my face.
i thought i dealt with this silently, internally, trying to be the *bigger* person and forgiving. but i'm not going to lie. i can't forgive her, not now, not ever. it hurts too much right now. i want to be the adult, but how can i be when i'm feeling all this anger towards her. i'm sitting here remembering friends that comes and goes, but i can't fathom why this incident hurt me more than others. you the wise one.. tell me..
in all my anger, i hope she be miserable for a long time and get the same treatment as how she has treated me. i doubt she thinks about what she done, she go on with her life, no guilt, no remorse, non whatsoever. i know its wrong to feel this way, but excuse me while i'm venting out. i needed to let this out its been festering inside of me for too long. i don't want to be this unkind because i know i'm not. but i just can't find in me to forgive her for not taking responsibility on her part. i admit my stupidity at trusting her but if only she had been honest with me, which i felt she has not. that's why i find its hard for me to forgive, forget, to let go. for she don't' deserve it...she lied, stole and betrayed.
i'm sorry, please don't think bad of me, i had to let it out cuz its killing me inside and i know you understand.... or maybe not.
to err is human to forgive is divine? ahhh fu*k that.
don't ask me why today of all day this anger starts mounting up. maybe because its her birthday and yet i texted her and wish happy birthday and many more to come. but no reply came from her. maybe she just dismiss it. maybe she changed her number. maybe because of that, the anger that i have so long push aside, rise in me like the waves of the ocean. maybe because she lied to me. maybe because i felt she stole from me. maybe because she have not been honest with me. but whatever it is, it seems clear now that she trying to avoid me and pretend whatever has taken place, never taken place before. i'm upset and angry. i'm upset to a point i start tearing up writing this. i don't want to waste this tears on someone like her, but yet, i can't stop it from streaming down my face.
i thought i dealt with this silently, internally, trying to be the *bigger* person and forgiving. but i'm not going to lie. i can't forgive her, not now, not ever. it hurts too much right now. i want to be the adult, but how can i be when i'm feeling all this anger towards her. i'm sitting here remembering friends that comes and goes, but i can't fathom why this incident hurt me more than others. you the wise one.. tell me..
in all my anger, i hope she be miserable for a long time and get the same treatment as how she has treated me. i doubt she thinks about what she done, she go on with her life, no guilt, no remorse, non whatsoever. i know its wrong to feel this way, but excuse me while i'm venting out. i needed to let this out its been festering inside of me for too long. i don't want to be this unkind because i know i'm not. but i just can't find in me to forgive her for not taking responsibility on her part. i admit my stupidity at trusting her but if only she had been honest with me, which i felt she has not. that's why i find its hard for me to forgive, forget, to let go. for she don't' deserve it...she lied, stole and betrayed.
i'm sorry, please don't think bad of me, i had to let it out cuz its killing me inside and i know you understand.... or maybe not.
to err is human to forgive is divine? ahhh fu*k that.
3 comments:
get/make a voodoo doll!! cucuk her ass with jarum peniti.
lmaoooo @ ed..
thanks i needed the laugh.
it's okay to be angry
to be angry is not a sin--at least that's what I believe--it's what you do with your anger that matters
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