Ache..

While riding the bus to work this week, I was hit with a sudden sadness. I miss my dad so much that I tried to recall his smile, his voice, the twinkle in his eyes when he laugh. His dark curly hair, the look of tiredness from his hard day of work. Or when he sit quietly and enjoy his cigarette with his cup of coffee. I even miss the early morning knock on my bedroom door reminding me to do my morning prayer.

What I miss most was us watching the teletubbies together...and laugh.

I miss him and yet I can't bring myself to look at his last photos taken before his passing. Instead I look at the one photo that he took with my mom on their honeymoon trip that hangs on my wall. I wonders how much different my life will be now, if he's alive. I know most of the decision made will be base on his approval more than it be on mine. I wonder if he knows I miss him..

I can't remember when the last time I cried over him, but I'm tearing up right now.