its 1248am sunday as i'm writing this post.
its mother's day and everywhere you see there's a reminder to every child much pain and labor your momma had to endure just to give you life.
sigh.
am i a bad daughter because i stop buying her gift on mother's day. instead i gave her money. it don't cause me any headache, stress and the *OH WHY YOU WASTING ON BUYING ME STUFF. DON'T KNOW WHEN I'M GONNA USE THIS* remarks each time. so to stop myself from getting piss and felt as my *gift* is not appreciated, i took the easy way out and give her mulla. she can choose what she gonna do with it. it's practical, she has a little bit more and i be broke but we both be happy.
i hardly bring my mom out for mother's day celebration, as every family with mother will be doing the exact same thing. i'm just trying to avoid the crowd, bad service and less appetizing food. well except for last year when i took her to a swanky lunch at 5 star hotel. even than i was disappointed after it cost me an arm and leg, the dam hotel can't even gift a stock of rose or any kind of token to the mothers. so i vow not to bring her there for any commercialized occasion.
today, we had lunch at my cousin's place and they (bless their hearts) decides to throw a surprise mother's day gifts to both my aunt and mom. now, they have individual cupcakes and perfumes. now me, i came empty handed unprepared and yes, pretend like its no big deal. but it makes me feel like an inconsiderate idiot, while cousin was busy distributing the gift around. you see, i have plan.. yes to give mom money on mother's day on sunday itself. but now, i felt like i have to come better after all the *excitement*. on the ride home, i slip my aunt a small token for mother's day cuz i felt embarrassed.
sigh.
but what really bothers me about mother's day is the fact, that i am not one. it saddens me. i smile and laugh but inside is a longing that i know will never be fulfilled.
its mother's day and everywhere you see there's a reminder to every child much pain and labor your momma had to endure just to give you life.
sigh.
am i a bad daughter because i stop buying her gift on mother's day. instead i gave her money. it don't cause me any headache, stress and the *OH WHY YOU WASTING ON BUYING ME STUFF. DON'T KNOW WHEN I'M GONNA USE THIS* remarks each time. so to stop myself from getting piss and felt as my *gift* is not appreciated, i took the easy way out and give her mulla. she can choose what she gonna do with it. it's practical, she has a little bit more and i be broke but we both be happy.
i hardly bring my mom out for mother's day celebration, as every family with mother will be doing the exact same thing. i'm just trying to avoid the crowd, bad service and less appetizing food. well except for last year when i took her to a swanky lunch at 5 star hotel. even than i was disappointed after it cost me an arm and leg, the dam hotel can't even gift a stock of rose or any kind of token to the mothers. so i vow not to bring her there for any commercialized occasion.
today, we had lunch at my cousin's place and they (bless their hearts) decides to throw a surprise mother's day gifts to both my aunt and mom. now, they have individual cupcakes and perfumes. now me, i came empty handed unprepared and yes, pretend like its no big deal. but it makes me feel like an inconsiderate idiot, while cousin was busy distributing the gift around. you see, i have plan.. yes to give mom money on mother's day on sunday itself. but now, i felt like i have to come better after all the *excitement*. on the ride home, i slip my aunt a small token for mother's day cuz i felt embarrassed.
sigh.
but what really bothers me about mother's day is the fact, that i am not one. it saddens me. i smile and laugh but inside is a longing that i know will never be fulfilled.
3 comments:
alah..jangan ah macam gitu...
:(
sorry for your pain
@ ed,
apa nak buat dek, akak emotional =:O(
@ gc,
i'm going tru the motion =:OI
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