Can You Hear Me..

Nothing much happening this week besides work. Uhh.. unless falling on my face and scraping my knees on Thursday at lunch, at a busy bus station considered the highlight... than yeah.. that. That's the second time I managed to tumble for no reason. I know I'm a klutz.. but within 2 weeks of my last fall.. sigh.. makes me wonder if I need to worry...

I'm disappointed since I did not get the call back from the job interview. I really wanted that job, it was perfect for me. Kak Ros tried to console me. She said, perhaps its not meant to be for a reason and take that as a blessing. Sure I'm disappointed that's understood, we only humans. But God knows what best for us, even if we don't understand it.

Yeah, I know... leave it all in God's hand, God willing it will happen, God this, God that. I know, I know. Sigh, even typing that down seems to be wrong. Like I'm questioning His Greatness. Makes me feel like an infidel. I know I'm not supposed to be questioning Him, everything happens for a reason. Does that makes me a bad person, because I have my moment of weakness, confusion and at times doubts... and wonder if He truly there for me? Did he hears my cries, my worries... sigh, I hope He does, cuz I have no one else to turn too but Him.

At times, I asked myself what have I gone wrong for my life to turn out this way. Have I not been a good person.. or tried to be that good person. Have I not done what I'm supposed to do.. or try my damn best. I don't go around hurting people, I been there for most. I never asked for something than what I deserves. I gave love and I get hurt. I gave friendship and I get betrayed. I show kindness and folks being ignorant.

I'm tired...