Weather Playing Havoc With My Mind..

It is 11.18pm the rain has finally stop. I can still feel the cold crisps air...wish I could smell the grass ... that fresh green smell after it rain. The weather been unpredictable for the past couple of days and that annoys me.. I hates it. At times I hates the rain...everything seems so dark and gloomy, Everything wet, its cold, people get edgy and irritated so easily. But than again... maybe I'm just tired right now and my mind is effin up.

Lately, a lot of things annoys me. Don't ask me why it just do. Maybe the weather, maybe its pms.. .. whatever it is.. it just annoying. I'm having a love hate relationship with life. Right now.. I'm hating it...

I can't sleep. I be counting sheep, cows dammit any kind of animals that will put me to la la land. and I'm wide awake. Maybe it insomnia but than again... maybe I'm just stressing out. Too much on my mind and I don't know what to do... and I'm tired.. so so tired.

I was feeling so burnout at work today and I want to leave the office, go for a movie or just sit at Starbucks and watch folks rushing from one point to another, while I slowly sips my latte and daze out.

I'm so not in the mood to deal with Ms Hotpanty and her bs. I'm so not in the mood to deal with her condescending manners and baseless accusations. We been shooting emails and after my replied last night.. I'm sure there's one from her in my inbox waiting for me....sigh.. eff it.. not tonight.. not in the effing mood.

Gawd.... I just remembered... Tennessee birthday this Saturday and I have not even buy a card much less to mail it out. Well, I will call him instead... thinks he likes that.. and sing him a birthday song.. lmao.. he always get a kick listening to my accent. He been good to me... always patient when I need a pair of ear to yell out my frustration. He never dwells on negativity, always looking at the bright side (even when he in the pits) and he always reminds me to keep my head up when I feels as if I'm drowning. I'm glad he been there for the 6 years that I known him.

Sigh.. its past midnight... Thursday just creeping in and I'm still wide eyes. I think its going to rain again.... going to be a cold night/morning arhhh whatever the time is.... and lonely. I wish there someone for me to snuggle up to in this cold weather and feel the warmth of his body. Put my arms around him.. knowing he be there in the morning. I miss that... I miss putting my arms around/ across/ over.... him... .... him being the man that I come to care and love, knowing he feels the same...

I miss having that...