Grrr...

hmmm...guess who called out of the blue??? yeah the very person who been putting me in total misery that drives me to shopping spree. yeah that very person who bought me this damn laptop.

the best part of it all, he has no idea as to why i been distancing myself from him. after all the BS that was said, he actually *clueless* as to what when wrong.

well i told him straight up and the usual, i'm sorry repeated being played out.

man.. i'm done.. with this one in particular!!

A Surprise On Valentine Day..

NO I DID NOT GET BUNCH OF ROSES. NO CARD OR BOX OF CHOCOLATE. AS I RECALLED I DECLARED JIHAD TO CUPID WITH HIS CROSS EYES AND BLUNT ARROWS.

Instead...

on valentine day i attended a wedding. it was my cousin 2nd wedding and she not even hit her 30 just yet. married to a mid 40 ol man, who already been married twice with 3 kids in tow. needless to say, the choice of groom was a surprised to both me and mom.

when i first saw the groom, i was dumb struck (for the lack of better word). there he is on a special day and he looking sloppy with his wiry white/grey hair (that happen to pass his shoulder) all over looking unkempt. dayum dude, can't you even go and have a decent hair cut?!!! i felt like giving him ten bucks and make him run to the nearest barber. shot, gives me a lil bit of hair gel and a comb, let me turn that unruly mess to a nice bun!!

my cousin on other hand, looking pretty like a first time bride. looking at them together, it gives me shivers (not the good kind). i wonder how this love affairs started. where they met. what the hell do they talk about. what do they have in common besides the kids from both their previous marriage. how soon did he propose to her. was she desperate... ok i'm being cruel..

i guess love is truly blind. maybe she is truly happy with him. maybe he's the prince that been missing in her life. or maybe he just the father figure that she needed in her life. who am i to judge and doom on a marriage that is about to begin. but why at the back of my mind, i kept saying.. surely she can do better than this. we all wanted the best for our love one.. don't we? oh gawd.. i'm such a snob.

in this case, first impression matters... in my eyes, he failed. if he can't be bothered to clean up and look halfway decent as a groom, makes me wonder what the future holds. maybe he don't feel the need to impress anyone, since he already found his young bride. maybe the rest of the immediate family don't matter, because he only have eyes and love for her. maybe this being his third marriage, been there done that... heck... he going to come as he is. maybe he just very comfortable being who he is and if he gives me the middle finger for suggesting a haircut.. i don't blame him...oh gawd, i feels another shivers and the hair on my neck.....

there's a saying, if it's meant to be and its fate that leads you to each other, who are we to question the work of God.

i hope he treats her well...

i know the bride's mom is not feeling her new son-in-law.....lol.. cuz all i felt during the ceremony was negative vibe oozing out of her...couple of the family members had to calm her down and gives word of support.

on the way home, mom ask me.. would i 'want' that type of man. i said i rather be the way i am right now....

does that makes me a snob...maybe yeah....

OMG... it just cross my mind... since my cousin address me as 'aunt' (due to family hierarchy (is that the right word?))...... oh dayummmmm he better not address me by that or i'm gonna have a seizure.....lol.

V Day

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it's valentine day.........

AGAIN!!

like every other year, i'm by myself.
yeah so what
it's not the end of the world
i'm not going to get depress
cuz no one buys me dozen of roses
they going to be dead anyway
and stinking up the house
no one buys me box of chocolate on V day
HECK I BUY MYSELF BOX OF CHOCOLATES
hmmm nope....
i'm not going to get depress
cuz i have tub of mocha caramel nuts ice cream to ease my pain
yeah try to beat that
you suckers commercialized nut head out there dining and wining
and you know you going to end up with 10 bucks in your bank account
me
i'm going to sit right hurrrrrrrrrrr
chillin like a villain
with my ice cream.


WHOA i feels so much better now.

(throw darts on cupid.... hope you drop dead).

Run Forest Ruunnnnnn...

Ok so I have not posted actively lately, simply because I don't have much to say. I don't lead a glamorous life (even though in my pretty brain, I'm Kimora Lee Simmon....lmao), in fact, I lead a very quiet life.

Nothing much happening in this small island of mine, with the exception of a terrorist running around free (well not really free, hiding is more like it) and the authority still not able to find him. Oh yeah... did I said terrorist... yap... he out there somewhere (I think). Probably hiding in the jungle, surviving gawd knows on what, but it's been almost 2 weeks and posters of him all over this small joint. Folks from all age and shape busy on the lookout for left limping man (ohh it seems he only limping when he running.....lmao) still wearing his orange suit (well in this case, its more of beige and blue.... purty ain't it??). The joke of the town, everyman who has dark skin, curly hair, with or without mustache and a limp on his left foot, is seating their ass at home for fear of being mistaken and arrested.....yeah, how about that??....lmao.

Folks getting upset writing to the papers, demanding answers and wondering how the hell he escaped from the can (seems that he excuse himself to go pee). Folks wanna know.. why the guard ain't holding his hand when he has to do the deed. Email of him in different outfits randomly run amok, which after a while becoming a joke around the office. Shoot someone has to have some kind of humour in this tension hours. Mm.. and oh yeah, the Head Honcho (I don't bother with names) publicly apologise to the residents for this mishap....Ohh his ass is so going to get fired.....on seconds thought....nahhh...

So wherever you're ... doubt you have online connection, but you know your ass is in deep trouble. Ohh and of course, the conspiracy theories is running random (which, I'm not bothered to put in details here, cuz they don't make no sense to me).

Now how's that as a wake up call for this so called peaceful island of mine...

Eat Your Cake...

On valentine day, it got me thinking about relationship of people that I know or at one point know off. One came to mind and to be honest, I'm not sure if I envy it... nah.. that's the wrong choice of words. I'm not going to lie... as matter of fact, it disgusts me.

Ms Banana and I used to work in the same company. We hang out occasionally cuz we have about the same circle of friends. She's sexy, petite and play the dumb *blonde* most of the time.... and men falls for it. Why I called her Ms Banana....well, she's asian thinking she's white... yanno.. yellow on the outside, white on the inside. I'm not being crude, cuz trust me.. there's plenty of them here.

Ms Banana have a man whom she been dating for eons. Relationship wasn't perfect, heard and seen bruise marks, hospital reports and the occasional police threats. But for some delusional reasons, they still together. Close friends told her to walk away, she did... but always came back. Says, it ain't so bad, he's not always abusive... only when he has too much to drink. How many time have you heard this before? When the woman get knock around they come running to the nearest person for sympathy.

Now while this romance was going on, Ms Banana met a new man... a married man. And the secret rendezvous started. They meet in hotels and take short vacations on pretext of business meetings. Don't ask me if her man knows cuz, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, maybe he decides to close one eye... who knows.

Ok, here where it gets to me....

One day, Ms Banana drop the bomb and said she's getting married... to her long time boyfriend. We asked why? Guess we will never know the real reason why. Maybe, they been together for so long, it just seems the *right* thing to do. Maybe, she don't want to *lose face* (it's an asian thing) among friends and families. Maybe, its more of a security.... financially and emotionally. So we asked, does that means you done with your side dish?

She had a grand wedding at the most expensive hotel... cuz they have associates and friends to impress. Everything was just lovely and goes well. From my understanding at the time... yes, the secret rendezvous still goes on. I won't be surprised if it still going on now, but I'm not sure and I don't want to know... that's why I cut off my ties.

Is this where the phrase *Have your cake and eat it to* applies? Why you committed to a life of marriage and yet, dishonor the wedding vow and have marital affair. Why living in constant lies and yet pretending to be the *good* wife. How can you share a bed and yet, you rather be with someone else.

Up till today, I can never understand this scenario. And why on earth, women likes her always get the men??!!!

Weekend Sucks!!!

I'm grumpy.

I'm not feeling well today. It's the weekend, I been sneezing none stop. I'm looking like rudolph and I'm grumpy.

I broke/cracked my toilet seat. Yes, that actually happens. Never thought its possible, but it happens to me!! First it cracks, I took no notice of it. Than 2 weeks ago, IT LITERALLY BROKE!! Just imagine a donut and you break 1/4 of it, so yeah.. that's what the state of my toilet seat is right now. To make matters worst, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX A NEW DAM SEAT.

Is my toilet seat trying to tell me, that I been putting on weight? That's why it cracks cuz I'm getting heavier? Oh gawd how depressing can this be!!!! But wait a sec.... I just weight myself like ok last week, it seems like I'm still maintaining the 6kg that I lost. I'm not obsess about my weight.. really I'm not, but when you experience a broken toilet seat... you starts to become paranoid.. oh well maybe a little.... paranoid.. that is.

Sigh... I know one day in the future, I'm going to just laugh this off. I can't see the humour about it now, cuz my mind is playing tricks on me.. telling me I'm getting fat. But, I know I be laughing about this soon enough.

Just not today, cuz today I'm grumpy.

The Quest For Jeans

GiGi : So do you have any problem with food when you in Shanghai?

Al Cheapo Cuzzin: It was ok. I avoided the local food court, we end up eating in restaurant most of the time. Yanno fish, veg, rice.

GiGi : And was Colorado expensive?

Al Cheapo Cuzzin: Yeah kinda. We went to Castle Rock Mall. Yanno like the factory outlet. Went to Gap and asked them the kinda jean you wanted. But it was like 49 bucks. Expensive so I didn't buy them.


Me... seething

When I heard my ACC was heading to Colorado for about a week, I asked him if he can get me pair of long jean from Gap. I gave him the size, length and design. I even told him if its cost more than 60 bucks to forget about it. Now, why am I seething? Cuz I needed a new pair of jean desperately and I was not willing to pay S$120 for a pair locally. Even after I convert 49 bucks to local currency, it's still cheaper. Was he thinking that I was not going to pay for it? Geez... I don't ask you to buy for me if I'm not going to pay for it.

My principle, I don't pay more than S$90 for a pair of jeans. And I'm not brand conscious. Just length conscious. It's hard for me to get long jean, even dam Levis don't carry ladies long cut, cuz majority of the women here is below 5'8". I used to buy men Levis cuz that's the only way I can get my length (well most of the time anyway). Since man's jean tends to be wider on the waist, makes the azz looks flatter than its already is and the crotch area where you can hide an apple, I stop buying them. Gap jean has the length that I wanted. Only problem it cost way more than I'm willing to pay for. Heck, I even bought jeans from Ross and I ain't embarrassed by it. If it fits me and it cost US$12 bucks... yanno I get couple of them.

Anyway, lesson learn. Don't ask ACC to buy anything even if he volunteers. I had to get that out of my system, that's all.

I Can't Be Straight Up?

I have this girl that I hang out once in a while. We not really close and shit, I can say she more of an acquaintance. Well she went postal on me. This is why sometimes I hates having girlfriends, cuz they be trippin for no reason.

Ms Astro: Hey, I'm checking out this club and I'm liking it. The band is good!!

GiGi: Oh.. yeah I been there. It's okay, the band aight.

Ms Astro: No really.. its happnin, it must be a different band. They good.

GiGi: Nah, its the same band. The club okay.. to many wannabe and fake latinas, it's hilarious....LOL.

Ms Astro: Ahhh you so negative.

GiGi: Huh?.. I'm just saying it as how I see it...LOL.

All this exchange of words done through text messages. There's more to it but I'm too lazy to type it out. Basically Ms Astro all upset about me having an opinion on the club. She was all up in my face about it, saying how I should not have to *bite* on everything.

I'm like HUH.WHAT.DUH.HAYLE.

So, I'm not entitled to have an opinion? I can't tell you my review of the club? Ohh wait, maybe you upset cuz I said lots of fake latinas...hmmm .. why were you ONE.OF.THEM? Geez... if you likes the club that's great. I like the club too, but it ain't all that peachy. Just so happen, the night I was there, that's what I see.. lots of wannabe and pretentious folks.

Well, it pretty much back and forth, exchanging text messages. She telling me, I need to be less *direct* cuz it might push people away. I replied, from my own experience, when you beat around the bush, folks get it twisted and starts talking shit. We all different and entitled to an opinion and I'm not here to please everyone. Yet, Ms Astro wanted to have the last word in and starts talking crap that have my eyeballs rolling backward. Told me, how I was wrong blah blah blah...

Told myself, I ain't got to deal with this nonsense. Basically text her and said.. I'm letting you having the last word, not worth going back and forth over this.

I have not heard from her and I'm not bothered by it either. I know when the need arise for me to be subtle, sympathetic and when I need to tell it straight up. I come to a stage of my life, where I'm done beating around the bush cuz folks don't listen right. They want to hear, what they want to hear... and filtered out everything else.

Sigh...

The L'oreal Madness

I swear to you women can be so freaking brutal when it comes to sales!! Any freaking kinda sales.. stay away from my path or I'm gonna step on your toes and just watch you keel in pain!!

Thank Gawd, I was calm, cool and collected cuz I swear some of these mofos almost make a sister lost her temper.

Last Friday was the beginning of the L'oreal/Revlon sales. Anything from shampoos to eyeliners, so you can imagine the bee line all these hussies were gunning for. I was only there for half an hour cuz I can't deal with these crazies women. You got push, pull from all sides.. these women acting as if these goodies were out for free. And whats up with the the males hanging around like limp dick carrying their women handbag walking around like a dam zombies. Dude, go somewhere else, nurse a cup of java or sit your ass somewhere you be out of our way.

What I don't get it, why the hell some of these folks shoving their baby stroller in a dam crowded, small passage way when you know better than to bring that rugrat out.. get a dam baby sitter if you have too.. if you can't.. IT'S NOT MEANT FOR YOU TO BE AT THE L'OREAL SALES DAMMIT..SITCHO.AZZ.AT.HOME!!

Hmm.. looking at my purchase, I think I did pretty well.

3 eyeshadows

1 mascara

1 gel base

2 toners

1 moisturiser

2 shampoos

2 hair serums

1 eye cream

1 white spot remover

Sigh.. I can't get any lipsticks cuz I don't have the energy to fight my way tru these womens.. I swear this will be the first and last time I going to L'oreal Sales.

Plump G-Spot Anyone?

Was reading the cosmopolitan magazine when I come across this:

Designer G-Spots

Collagen isn't just for inflating lips. Some plastic surgeons are now administering G-Shots, collagen injections used to plump up women's G-spots to about the size of quarter. This makes the area more sensitive to stimulation for approximately four months.

The cost, about US$1800.

Basically, if you get bored with pumping collagen on your sagging face, now you can just spread your legs apart and have the surgeon prick the damn needle up your south zone.

OUCH!!...

Wonder if they numb the va-jay-jay before .. uhh.. dammit.. I'm having visuals.

I don't know about you folks, but hayle to the naaawwwww if I ever gonna do that kinda sh*t. Nosirreeebob!!

I'm sure the next group making a bee line to the plastic surgeon will be the loving same gender of the male species. As, I'm sure once they heard the wonder of plump G-spots , they would be wanting the same shot up their U KNOW WHERE (I can't remember the scientific name for the male g-spot) for that longer tingling sensation.

Ohhh lawdddddddd I'm having visuals again......... ewwwwwww.