Finally...

on the eve of thanksgiving, i finally said my goodbye to icetea.

it's not easy, it was never easy, but it was necessary. after all that was said and done, after all of the years of up and down that we both went through, after all the tears of joy and happiness, the love and respect that i've shown and given to him, i don't deserve being disrespect by his very action. it hurts.

i wrote him an email, said my piece, wish him luck and happiness. told him god bless and GOOD BYE. press send and pray hard that i won't received any reply from him, for i have no desire to read its content.

i'm totally done.

Argghhhhh.... i dig a hole

i've work in a rather big dept. clearing your annual leaves is always an issue among all of us. sometimes it can get pretty nasty and folks start having back talks. we have to give 6 months in advance our plan leave and even than, it's not a confirmation that you get the date you *applied* for. especially when there's more than 1 person blocking for the same date.

this year i've noticed that 2 of my colleagues *partner* up to block dates for their annual leave. at first i thought maybe i was being paranoid. but than, the same name appears on some other dates... and i'm like hmmm.... see their plan is, if these 2 mofos block on 24 Dec, no one will applied for that date cuz there's already 2 person applying for it. however, as the date get nearer, one of them convenient drop their plan, so the other partner could go ahead. now i kept my mouth shut cuz i don't want to start no shit.

well, guess i'm not the only one as couple of others noticed what these 2 mofos up to. i finally lost my cool (cuz he was trying to act all kind and shit by giving up his leave for me) and  i sarcastically mentioned to him that i'm aware of their *partnering* and now both of them giving me the cold shoulder. well i don't give a shit n a bucket. screw them both!!

i dig deeper hole by questioning my boss about his leave. you see, if you going to tell me, we as a staff can't do this or that, now why the hell you turn around and screw your own do's and don't and did it anyway??? of course i'm going to question you because i want to know why *the rules* not applicable to you. now on this particular incident, glad to know that my friend have my back cuz while my boss end up telling his sob story to her, she turn around and turn the table on him. (not sure if this makes any sense to you). anyway, she told him, what the dept wants is transparency, you can't turn around and bend your own rules and expect the staff to accept without any valid explanation. however, i did apologise to him saying it was not my intention to question him, but for my own better understanding of how things work. i felt a leader have to lead by good examples only than the rest of the crews will follow....

oh well that's just my opinion anyway and yeah, the bosses always get to screw you....

Games Anonymous...

i have a new addictions. one that leaves me captivated for hours almost on a daily basis. an escape from my own reality. i stares, fascinated at what i could *create*, steal, shot, discovered, gain info and goes.. ohhhh at the end result.

hi my name is gigi and i'm addicted to facebook games =:O(

1. mall worlds

2. fashion designers

3. coco girls

4. it girls

5. avenger of indiana jones

6. crime worlds

7. csi: crime city

8. are you smarter than a 5th grader

this is the result of not having a husband and child to look after. lmao!!

oh well i'm enjoying and it lets me escape and release my stress away.

i miss l.a.

pasadena civic auditorium. after watching x-factor and salivating over leroy bell (well that is a fine looking 59yr ol MAN) bring back memories of good time that i had while i was engaged to mark. i remembered the very first time i set foot in la, i was excited but pretend like it's no big deal.  i have to admit what excites me most was the fact, it was only 5mins walking distance from where mark's was living.

i used to spend my time, just walking around the civic area, the DWS store, the rows of eateries, the malls but my all time favourite has to be Ross and Target. well, what can i say, i'm a woman on a tight budget...lol. we actually attend the BET comedy award show held at the auditorium and seeing shemar moore up close...uhh hmmm... *fan*

one thing i realize, i get lots of stares when i'm there. maybe they can't make up their mind what nationality i am. no one mistaken me for chinese...lol.

sigh.. i'm just writing randomly due to feeling nostalgia. all i can say, i've been lucky and bless even when happiness was not within my reach, but still i'm grateful for the happiness i had than.

In The Words of Bob Marley....

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.

They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

 ― Bob Marley

Uhhh F&$*#@ this!!

i just block tacicia.. i don't know who that person is and why she following me =:O(

now, i need to stop spending. i really do. i lost my mind and bought 3 perfumes, 6 maxi dresses online, juice beauty serum and apple green peel and assortments of cookies for the coming celebration end of august. yes, i'm spending money like nobody business.

just when i thought i could breathe and treat myself to luxury, media have been delivering the depressing news on world economy. sigh, can't a girl get a break here!!!!

i been thinking of giving up on finding love online........ yes i said love.. not husband. i'm tired and i'm done and i'm losing all hopes. i will die a lonely woman with no cat to alert the neighbour. i can't find anyone that gives my heart a lil jump start, well except for mr puckerlicious and blueluvray69.

men.....uhh.. what's that? my memory about to erase them...slowwwleeeee....